A Humdrum Mum

If you didn't enjoy Eats, Shoots and Leaves , then read no further. This blog post will annoy the crap out of you and you will end up thinking I'm some high and mighty wannabe writer. Yes I may be, but we all have our faults. Along with greengrocers' commas and the misuse of fantastic and few/less etc, something else has been bugging me recently. Have you seen, in a menu for example, the item mash potato ? It's either " mash" or " mashED potato" . Also skim milk , grrr it's skimmED milk . The milk was SKIMMED, same as the potato was MASHED. Past participle. Is it just a lazy form of writing? Does it only apply to foodstuffs? Is it just me?

Elf and his friend T, a girl who is 4 and a half, went to our local play area. Like most boys, and children, Elf kicked off his shoes without untying his laces, and shrugged off his coat. Normally he leaves it strewn on the floor. This time, he handed his coat to T. What do you think T did? Yes, she hung it up. I was speechless.

As a blogger of only a few weeks, I'm learning there is a certain etiquette for blogging. (I just scratched my head trying to invent a word like blogiquette , but it didn't quite work as it turns the G into a soft G.) In my surely deluded mind, I'd get hundreds of followers and comments alike, full of praise for my irreverant (am I deluded again?) style of blogging. As I said, this was in my mind.

Elf went into hospital today for his gromets! It's now 4.30pm and it's all done and dusted. Long story short, he came down a bit snuffly (after having his nose cauterised) and a bit teary, and he did have some pain in one ear. He did say Take it out, to us, which was a bit upsetting. After some nice medicine, he perked up playing with his Star Wars lego that was his post-op treat. We were discharged just before lunch. We are now watching Star Wars! We have to keep an eye on him for 36 hours.

Just a little post - Elf is going into hospital tomorrow morning to have his gromets put in! I am more worried about the anaesthetic than the procedure. I know it is so common and he will be fine, but it's still hard not to worry. I am just going to watch my guilty pleasure, Holby City, then pack his day bag (with overnight stuff just in case ) and our stuff. He is nil by mouth from midnight so we will have to have our breakfast later on when he is under. I shall post a post-op review soon. Right I hope there are no horrible ear-related issues on Holbers tonight...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1252703/Middle-class-mothers-make-countryside-zone-fear-children-getting-dirty.html (Apologies for not being able to shorten this link, can't remember the html code.) The above article in the Daily Mail claimed that middle class mums avoid taking their children to play in the countryside for fear of them getting dirty, according to research carried out by Herts Uni on one prep school in the South of England. They are so obsessed about them getting injured and dirty that they prefer to take them to the safe country parks and farms that catered for families. Right. I have many points to make regarding this "research":-

I have an announcement. At the ripe old age of 39 I have just purchased my first ever pair of leggings. My dad calls them council house tights, and he is allowed to say that as my mum grew up in a council house, albeit a lovely one in a country village. But still a council house. Last Saturday, on a discreet visit to Monsoon when I should have been doing our weekly shop in Waitrose, I decided, because I'd had a lovely acupuncture session just beforehand, that I'd treat myself to something different. So I bought a dark gey jumper dress with batwings. I wore it last night to dinner with an old friend, but with thick tights. My new manager's manager is visiting our work today and I wanted to make a good impression, so I decided to buy a pair of leggings.

What's a MIMMY? A More Involved Mum . I cannot take credit for this little nugget - credit goes to my friend S. I started off thinking about writing an article about the misrepresentation of part-time working mums in the media. By the media, I mean Daily Mail. I confess to my dirty secret of reading the Femail pages online - purely to insence myself and get my blood pressure up. The comments are actually the funniest. Know thine enemy.

Our NCT group's party season is in full swing. By nature of our ante-natal group, they were all born around the same time four years ago and not a weekend goes by from January to March without a party in some hot, sweaty play area smelling of feet'n'farts. Or is that just the boys' parties? We had our first girl's party last weekend, after the swimming lesson.I was reminded only the day before that the party was fancy dress, thanks to Elf's best friend O's mummy. I told her Ben would probably go as Buzz Lightyear. Excellent, she replied, because O is going as Woody and his younger sister as Jessie. We have limited fancy dress outfits, he's only just started to like dressing up. He was a pirate for his own party in January, and he were given the Buzz outfit for Christmas by his pal M. (When M's mum reads this, she may go mad.)

Yesterday, Saturday, was my turn to take the Elf (4) swimming. This is no easy feat. Granted he's in the pool on his own now, obviously with instructors (I don't just drop him off at the local leisure centre and nip over the road to do my weekly Waitrose shop. "What was it you wanted? More of those snacky flapjacks? See you in half an hour.") It's easier only having one wet bod to dry. When I first started taking Elf swimming when he was a baby, the then Monday 10am class took up the whole morning as I had to return home afterwards to sort my hair out. Having hair that is straightened every day but curls if it's raining even in the neighbouring county, splashed/curly hair is not a look I go for.

Got home from work today to find a Joules catalogue (or catazine as they now call it). I immediately bristled, as my OH and I have had a fight with Joules over the non return policy between shops in Cowes, Isle of Wight, and any other Joules shops in the UK, namely Chichester. Apparently the shop in Cowes, although branded as Joules with a Joules receipt, is not in fact a Joules shop. I was trying to return a too-tight holiday gift of a t shirt from OH last June. The Chi shop couldn't do it, and the Cowes shop wanted us to pay to return it! Funny as they have a no quibble returns policy...

Last night I took out two frozen M&S salmon fillets to defrost in the fridge. This evening on my return from work and pre-school pick-up, I felt tired. I am pushing 40 and am feeling my age sometimes. Order a pizza, says my weekly Dominos habit. You know you want it. Yes I want the New Yorker thin crust, with chicken kickers and possibly potato wedges.