A Humdrum Mum

Please let me know if these two things make me a bad mummy. Part I I have just spent a week in Dorset on holiday with my parents and Elf. It was a glorious week and we spent every day on the beach. Elf likes arcades - the flashing lights, loud music with the motorbike rides, air hockey - all of it fascinates him. We are facing the G problem. Do you know what that is? The gun problem. (The small font means I'm whispering it.) Lightsabers are ok. I call the guns guns on the storm troopers water pistols. Elf knows not to shoot Mummy or Nana, just Daddy and Grandad. But he just picks up sticks instead and tries to shoot me. It's hard to avoid! Elf stood by a rifle shooting game and watched a dad play alongside his teenage son. Then Elf went and took the huge rifle and started imitating them. My mum and I were watching from a little way off and sniggering behind our hands. Of course I wouldn't encourage him to do that, but it was funny in an awful way. This gets worse....

This post will appeal to Diary of a Frugal Family . Whilst at our friends' house last weekend for Come dine with me and trash my house , Miss M had a new toy, the Playmobil Water Park . Elf loved playing with it as REAL water was involved! (Not sure if the picture is of the actual set, but it's that kind of thing.) Elf loves playing at the sink with plastic crockery, so I adapted that game. We got all of his dolphins, sharks and fish etc, and put them in the sink. See below for  Elf's Water Park ! Spot the difference!  

Elf, Woody and Jessie eating their first Friday ice creams this year

Our friends and us are in the midst of a Come Dine With Me competition. OH started in November last year, and after a long wait, last week it was the turn of A. A is mummy to Miss M, and A's husband B used to work with OH years ago. This sounds like an equation A+B=Miss M well that's right I suppose. OH and A were cooking first because out of the two couples, they are the non-cooks. Yes A is lucky that B cooks for the family most nights. Husband B is a very good cook and we have often been round for an Uncle B special. (He is so good he can cook spag bol when we're camping. Of course the difference between our competition and the programme is that our menus have to be child-friendly!) OH's menu: Cheese and olives on sticks, some wrapped in anchovies Home-made beef burgers with potato and parsnip chips Cheesecake The title of this post includes "... and trash my house" because in true Elf/Miss M style, the house was trashed afterwards! I was sure we wo...

This week we are child-free. Elf is staying with his grandparents. We have been able to do the following since we have been child-free: Laid in bed until 9.30 YES 9.30 on Easter Monday Gone to the toilet on our own, without having to wipe someone else's bottom or play "Talk funny Mummy" (which involves me talking in a range of accents, well mostly American, and Elf laughing at me) Watched our own choice of telly which isn't, funnily enough, Humf or The Backyardigans Had a long adult lunch of three courses uninterrupted on Easter Sunday Turned our noses up at other tables in said restaurant with children attached (only joking) Shopped in peace at our own pace after said three course lunch Tried on clothes during said shopping trip Argued with each other. Why? Because we could! Worked a full day instead of part-time (to make up for leaving work early last week as Elf had tonsillitis) I don't have to leave bang on time to avoid the huge penalties for picking...

Last night I felt virtuous. Dinner comprised warmed sweet potato falafel, couscous and salad, and I actually finished the bag of salad. Usually I buy a bag from Waitrose, with as many dark leaves as possible, possibly with betroot, and then after a couple of sarnies, the remainder of the bag festers in back of my fridge, only to be thrown away on the next bin day... all green and brown slimy slug-like. But no, this bag produced two main meal salads for myself and OH, along with two lunches of pastrami, picallily and salad bagels, which I took to an indoor play area for myself and Broccoli Boy's mummy, as it was my turn to provide lunch last Monday. I really enjoy reading Diary of a Frugal Family  and I do share a love for a bargain (I get this from my Mum, the Professional Shopper - and Returner). My Mum and I like to play these games: What is the cheapest meal you can make ? I won once with "Curried leftover Sunday roast vegetables". An ex-boyfriend lived on two ...

I have just read the crappest article ever. And it was in the Guardian, which I usually buy on Saturdays (mainly for The Guide I have to admit). barenakedmummy  wrote (on the same blog template as me, spooky to read) that she isn't an alpha mummy and doesn't care, in response to the Guardian article 'I'll never be a Proper Mum' . Barenakedmummy's article was funny and I identified with it. But the Guardian article? Now I don't mean to diss the writer, in fairness it was well written and it did keep me entertained, but I don't for a minute believe it is true. The article precised into a couple of lines - and I'm paraphrasing here: I am not a proper mummy, you know those mummies who turn up to nursery/school in their Cath Kidston wellies with organic lunch boxes, I hate playdates cos I hate the other "proper" mums, when I see a proper mum I feel 13 again and inadequate. Where did all this competitive "I'm crap"ness come fro...