Beware the purple sausage!

Having just returned from a week's holiday in Lanzarote, my most pressing task was to post again! It's been odd not blogging, but the house move plus a family holiday a week later has put paid to my blogging time. No it wasn't really a good idea to book a holiday a week after we move house. Yes it was booked long long ago, before we even put the house on the market. Anyway job done, move was smooth and hols were fab. Back to blogging. I can't actually remember what font I use, so this might be the time for a change...

I will post some appropriate holiday snaps later, but the sausage on the left depicts one of the funnier parts (for us). Of course Elf has been obsessed with his willy since birth, that's a given. Apart from the time he flashed at the headmistress, we've not had many embarrassing moments. Until now. He discovered his foreskin moves! Now being a girl, I'm not quite used to little boys' willies. Big boys, different matter ... Should it go back? Should it move at all? I remember Mr C being taken to the doc as a tiny baby by his mummy who asked Should his willy be this big and red? Only to be told Yes this is normal!

So what was I to do on holiday when he appeared at the dinner table with his foreskin pulled right back saying Look at my purple sausage!? It was purple too! Grandma and I tried not to laugh but it was impossible. This carried on and we were at a loss to know what to do.

Arriving home, I found my Junior magazine had an article on boys' obsessions with their willies. I must find it ...

Would I Lie To You board family game review

Would I Lie To You? "The game of believable lies and unbelievable lies ", linked into the TV show of the same name. Purchased: December 2017 in Waterstones, for around £20 In a nutshell: These TV show-affiliated games usually show themselves up (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Top Gear) but this game is fun and easy to play (if a little modified) as a family. You don't really need specialist knowledge to play, just the ability to lie! Every year for Christmas, I like to buy a board game to play, even though no games better either Ludo (in which my dad is the reigning cheater-champion, and argues to high heaven over the rules about doubling up or how to place your counters in "Home") or Rummikub (which we can now play with two packs of cards lest we forget the game). This year, Would I Lie To You caught my eye in Waterstones (other emporiums - emporia? - for book lovers are [locally] unavailable). It's a game, it says, for 2-8 players; however we dec...

A walk from Portchester Castle to Salt Cafe

Well we just had to choose the worst day of the year to walk. The date had been set weeks before - who knew there would be the worst winds of the decade almost on this very day? But we didn't want to be beaten. We will walk to the cafe. At least it wasn't raining! Parking is free next the castle and obviously, it wasn't busy this day! We set off around the outside of this medieval monument. The sea wall affords views across to Portsmouth and Gosport, and Portsdown Hill if you look behind. You can see the Spinnaker Tower in my photos, but you'd have to zoom in. The sea wall leads to a walk along a path, switching between grass (a much more sheltered area) beside a playpark, and the beach. It is an easy, flat walk, made slightly harder in the wind. After 1.75 miles, you reach the Salt Cafe (@saltcafe66). This took us one hour - that wind did slow us down! I've had a breakfast bap there before and remember it being delicious, but slightly expensive. But today, we...

That's not my Elf, he's too rude and noisy

At nursery drop-off this morning, I was handed part of Elf's transfer to school pack, you know, the bit that the pre-school teacher had completed and also that Elf had drawn in (looking worryingly like a blaze that Fireman Sam ought to be putting out instead of rescuing Norman's head from a saucepan with the "jaws of life"). Reading it, I had a sense of "That's not my child" in the way that the above tractor book is written. Surely, the little angel you've so kindly described here doesn't really exist, and certainly doesn't pretend to be my little Elf? So here is "This is not my child" book, by A Humdrum Mum. That's not my child He's too rude and noisy That's not my child He's uncaring and unkind (to me sometimes) That's not my child He wants to sit in front of the TV not run around in the garden That's not my child He won't help me take in the washing This is my child ...

A Humdrum Mum

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