Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Am I a bad mummy? Parts I and II

Please let me know if these two things make me a bad mummy.

Part I
I have just spent a week in Dorset on holiday with my parents and Elf. It was a glorious week and we spent every day on the beach.

Elf likes arcades - the flashing lights, loud music with the motorbike rides, air hockey - all of it fascinates him. We are facing the G problem. Do you know what that is? The gun problem. (The small font means I'm whispering it.) Lightsabers are ok. I call the guns guns on the storm troopers water pistols. Elf knows not to shoot Mummy or Nana, just Daddy and Grandad. But he just picks up sticks instead and tries to shoot me. It's hard to avoid!

Elf stood by a rifle shooting game and watched a dad play alongside his teenage son. Then Elf went and took the huge rifle and started imitating them. My mum and I were watching from a little way off and sniggering behind our hands. Of course I wouldn't encourage him to do that, but it was funny in an awful way. This gets worse. Before I could drag him away, two "nice" children a bit older than Elf started watching him. Their mum came over and dragged them off with a really cross look on her face! Now that made my mum and I really snigger!

Part II
Elf wanted a Power Ranger. Every day he wanted one. I said he could have one at the end of his holiday (Friday) if he was a good boy. On Thursday, he wanted a magazine. No because if you have the magazine, you won't get your Power Ranger. OK he said. I don't want a Power Ranger. Are you sure you don't want a Power Ranger? You know, the thing you've been whining about all week? I don't want a Power Ranger.

Fine, I said, and I got my camera. I asked him to repeat what he'd just said and I videoed him saying he didn't want a Power Ranger.

Can you see where this is going? The next day is Friday and what does he say? I want a Power Ranger. Well Elf, you don't want a Power Ranger. Yes I do. No you don't, watch this, see! He looked at me as if to say, Who is that person that looks like me saying the most ridiculous thing, that he doesn't want a Power Ranger?

Now am I a bad mummy?

Sunday, 18 April 2010

Who needs Playmobil?

This post will appeal to Diary of a Frugal Family. Whilst at our friends' house last weekend for Come dine with me and trash my house, Miss M had a new toy, the Playmobil Water Park. Elf loved playing with it as REAL water was involved! (Not sure if the picture is of the actual set, but it's that kind of thing.)

Elf loves playing at the sink with plastic crockery, so I adapted that game. We got all of his dolphins, sharks and fish etc, and put them in the sink. See below for Elf's Water Park! Spot the difference!


Friday, 16 April 2010

Funday Friday Foto

Elf, Woody and Jessie eating their first Friday ice creams this year

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Come dine with me and trash my house

Our friends and us are in the midst of a Come Dine With Me competition. OH started in November last year, and after a long wait, last week it was the turn of A. A is mummy to Miss M, and A's husband B used to work with OH years ago. This sounds like an equation A+B=Miss M well that's right I suppose. OH and A were cooking first because out of the two couples, they are the non-cooks. Yes A is lucky that B cooks for the family most nights. Husband B is a very good cook and we have often been round for an Uncle B special. (He is so good he can cook spag bol when we're camping. Of course the difference between our competition and the programme is that our menus have to be child-friendly!)

OH's menu:
  • Cheese and olives on sticks, some wrapped in anchovies
  • Home-made beef burgers with potato and parsnip chips
  • Cheesecake
The title of this post includes "... and trash my house" because in true Elf/Miss M style, the house was trashed afterwards! I was sure we would trash A's house but we didn't...

OH was a guinea pig really, we have all learned from him. I was out for a boozy champagne lunch for my friend's birthday and didn't really offer any help in looking after Elf while OH was cooking! The cheese and olives on sticks were nice, except the anchovy ones! The burgers were lovely and the parsnip chips really tasty. Impressed. The cheesecakes were good, but then he did see me make them the week before!

I will update you with OH's score; we are all texting my mum with his scores!

A's menu:
  • Individual caramelised onion and goat's cheese quiche
  • Chicken breast stuffed with mozarella and wrapped in pancetta with roasted betroot and peppers
  • Individual chocolate fondue with fresh fruit dips and home-baked biscuits

Update to come with scores.

I will give a really honest evaluation of A's meal.
  • The quiche was delicious, the onions were very sweet and almost creamy. (Did she make the pastry?)
  • The main course was very nice, the cheese didn't melt as much as A had wanted but the breasts were very plump. However I like wet food! Personally I would have liked a sauce with the main course. I did really enjoy the roasted beetroot though, especially as it was grown at their own allotment.
  • The pudding was amazing, the creamy chocolate fondue was delicious and the biscuits very nice.
I marked her ... I'm not going to tell you!

I am doing the next one and as I usually cook in my household, we've decided that I'm doing Come Picnic With Me on the May Bank Holiday weekend. A's husband B is bringing up the rear with Come Barbecue With Me after that! Watch this space.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

What can you do when you're child-free?

This week we are child-free. Elf is staying with his grandparents. We have been able to do the following since we have been child-free:
  • Laid in bed until 9.30 YES 9.30 on Easter Monday
  • Gone to the toilet on our own, without having to wipe someone else's bottom or play "Talk funny Mummy" (which involves me talking in a range of accents, well mostly American, and Elf laughing at me)
  • Watched our own choice of telly which isn't, funnily enough, Humf or The Backyardigans
  • Had a long adult lunch of three courses uninterrupted on Easter Sunday
  • Turned our noses up at other tables in said restaurant with children attached (only joking)
  • Shopped in peace at our own pace after said three course lunch
  • Tried on clothes during said shopping trip
  • Argued with each other. Why? Because we could!
  • Worked a full day instead of part-time (to make up for leaving work early last week as Elf had tonsillitis) I don't have to leave bang on time to avoid the huge penalties for picking Elf up late from nursery
  • Not had to wait outside the house in my joggers for OH to come home so I can race to my Pilates class (does the stress involved in waiting til the 11th hour negate the relaxation achieved once there?)
  • Laid in bed until the last minute before I have to get up before work (bliss)
  • Cooked dinner, eaten it by 6.15pm and watched Hollyoaks (it's still awful)
  • Tidied my wardrobe and put away my Winter warmers
  • Booked catch-up suppers later in the week with friends separately but ON THE SAME NIGHT
  • Planned to go to a work friend's 40th birthday party TOGETHER without having to pay a babysitter.
As my and OH's parents all live four hours away, we rarely have any time to go out without having to pay for a babysitter. Our parents take Elf away for a week's holiday once or twice a year, leaving us with a week free to do the above. The girls at work were amazed that I said I wouldn't miss Elf. Why would I? He's having fun with Grandma and Grandpa. I do wonder what he is up to each day. In fact I think I'll just give Grandma a quick call now...