Why didn't I read the letter properly?

Dang and blast, as Boggit says. Or is it Bean? Elf starts talking about dressing up as a prince and wanting to make a crown. Then it dawns on me. I read the letter in the bookbag on the first day back about the Royal Wedding Menu (cheese or ham flatbread), but I didn't really read the rest of the letter. The first paragraph reads:

Children are invited to dress up as a prince or princess to celebrate the Royal Wedding.

Double dang and blast. Elf, Elf I love you, but we only have 14 hours to make a crown, I paraphrase from Queen's Flash Gordon. At least it involves no sewing.

Thirty minutes later, having raided the two art'n'craft trays, this is my creation. And I'm quite proud of it. The gold and black material inside has in fact got skulls on it, but who will see that? He thinks it's cool anyway.

I have got a picture of my Elf in a princess dress from last year. No I'm not THAT blogger from the US, and I'm not posting it here OK! Walking down the stairs in his pink dress with fairy wings, he has this little glint in his eye that says I know I'm a 4 year old boy but I might be a metrosexual yet.

Would I Lie To You board family game review

Would I Lie To You? "The game of believable lies and unbelievable lies ", linked into the TV show of the same name. Purchased: December 2017 in Waterstones, for around £20 In a nutshell: These TV show-affiliated games usually show themselves up (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Top Gear) but this game is fun and easy to play (if a little modified) as a family. You don't really need specialist knowledge to play, just the ability to lie! Every year for Christmas, I like to buy a board game to play, even though no games better either Ludo (in which my dad is the reigning cheater-champion, and argues to high heaven over the rules about doubling up or how to place your counters in "Home") or Rummikub (which we can now play with two packs of cards lest we forget the game). This year, Would I Lie To You caught my eye in Waterstones (other emporiums - emporia? - for book lovers are [locally] unavailable). It's a game, it says, for 2-8 players; however we dec...

A walk from Portchester Castle to Salt Cafe

Well we just had to choose the worst day of the year to walk. The date had been set weeks before - who knew there would be the worst winds of the decade almost on this very day? But we didn't want to be beaten. We will walk to the cafe. At least it wasn't raining! Parking is free next the castle and obviously, it wasn't busy this day! We set off around the outside of this medieval monument. The sea wall affords views across to Portsmouth and Gosport, and Portsdown Hill if you look behind. You can see the Spinnaker Tower in my photos, but you'd have to zoom in. The sea wall leads to a walk along a path, switching between grass (a much more sheltered area) beside a playpark, and the beach. It is an easy, flat walk, made slightly harder in the wind. After 1.75 miles, you reach the Salt Cafe (@saltcafe66). This took us one hour - that wind did slow us down! I've had a breakfast bap there before and remember it being delicious, but slightly expensive. But today, we...

That's not my Elf, he's too rude and noisy

At nursery drop-off this morning, I was handed part of Elf's transfer to school pack, you know, the bit that the pre-school teacher had completed and also that Elf had drawn in (looking worryingly like a blaze that Fireman Sam ought to be putting out instead of rescuing Norman's head from a saucepan with the "jaws of life"). Reading it, I had a sense of "That's not my child" in the way that the above tractor book is written. Surely, the little angel you've so kindly described here doesn't really exist, and certainly doesn't pretend to be my little Elf? So here is "This is not my child" book, by A Humdrum Mum. That's not my child He's too rude and noisy That's not my child He's uncaring and unkind (to me sometimes) That's not my child He wants to sit in front of the TV not run around in the garden That's not my child He won't help me take in the washing This is my child ...

A Humdrum Mum

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