Are you on the flames today dear?

Since Elf went back to school this year, I've been asking him each day if he was on the flames. Your school probably does similar; Elf starts the day on the rocket, then can move up to the moon for possibly being the only one to tuck his chair in, then even further up to the star for good listening. He could however go down to the orange flames for not good listening, or even further down to the red flames for, as was the case in the first week, going onto Google on the lap tops, instead of Education City. (Mr Humdrum said Well at least he knows how to do it. Not the point.)

So after a chat with the lovely Mr G, his teacher, I decided to use bribery. Elf could have his 50p school shop money on Friday provided he wasn't on the flames. A day on the star could result in £1 pocket money.

A few weeks in now, and he's been OK so much so that last week when he was on the orange flames for squirting water from his water bottle, I wasn't really bothered.

Parents' evening last week proved that his behaviour was improving, it was only settling in and as he has moved from Reception into a Year 2 registration class, he was learning that unacceptable behaviour which might have got him told off in Year R might result in moving his name to the flames in Year 2. He's learning. Nothing to worry about.

Well that's school sorted. He's now decided to play up at home - every time we do something with his (and my) group of friends, he has a tantrum when we leave! Thursday, Friday and Saturday last week it happened. And even very slightly yesterday. Need to work on that, as it will threaten to spoil my social life too!

At least it's the right way round though, good at school and a sod at home!

Would I Lie To You board family game review

Would I Lie To You? "The game of believable lies and unbelievable lies ", linked into the TV show of the same name. Purchased: December 2017 in Waterstones, for around £20 In a nutshell: These TV show-affiliated games usually show themselves up (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Top Gear) but this game is fun and easy to play (if a little modified) as a family. You don't really need specialist knowledge to play, just the ability to lie! Every year for Christmas, I like to buy a board game to play, even though no games better either Ludo (in which my dad is the reigning cheater-champion, and argues to high heaven over the rules about doubling up or how to place your counters in "Home") or Rummikub (which we can now play with two packs of cards lest we forget the game). This year, Would I Lie To You caught my eye in Waterstones (other emporiums - emporia? - for book lovers are [locally] unavailable). It's a game, it says, for 2-8 players; however we dec...

A walk from Portchester Castle to Salt Cafe

Well we just had to choose the worst day of the year to walk. The date had been set weeks before - who knew there would be the worst winds of the decade almost on this very day? But we didn't want to be beaten. We will walk to the cafe. At least it wasn't raining! Parking is free next the castle and obviously, it wasn't busy this day! We set off around the outside of this medieval monument. The sea wall affords views across to Portsmouth and Gosport, and Portsdown Hill if you look behind. You can see the Spinnaker Tower in my photos, but you'd have to zoom in. The sea wall leads to a walk along a path, switching between grass (a much more sheltered area) beside a playpark, and the beach. It is an easy, flat walk, made slightly harder in the wind. After 1.75 miles, you reach the Salt Cafe (@saltcafe66). This took us one hour - that wind did slow us down! I've had a breakfast bap there before and remember it being delicious, but slightly expensive. But today, we...

That's not my Elf, he's too rude and noisy

At nursery drop-off this morning, I was handed part of Elf's transfer to school pack, you know, the bit that the pre-school teacher had completed and also that Elf had drawn in (looking worryingly like a blaze that Fireman Sam ought to be putting out instead of rescuing Norman's head from a saucepan with the "jaws of life"). Reading it, I had a sense of "That's not my child" in the way that the above tractor book is written. Surely, the little angel you've so kindly described here doesn't really exist, and certainly doesn't pretend to be my little Elf? So here is "This is not my child" book, by A Humdrum Mum. That's not my child He's too rude and noisy That's not my child He's uncaring and unkind (to me sometimes) That's not my child He wants to sit in front of the TV not run around in the garden That's not my child He won't help me take in the washing This is my child ...

A Humdrum Mum

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