I promised more on this from my Facebook teaser earlier.
Can I firstly just say I'm not proud of myself. I know I wasn't wrong, but I'm not proud of what I did.
Let me explain.
I was driving home from a Waitrose shopping trip, I'd ambled around the precinct, talking to some old lady who I didn't know, chatting to a shop assistant in John Lewis who I only knew from popping in there since Elf was born. (We have a 7 year relationship and discuss quite personal things, but we only ever see each other in the shop.) The free Waitrose cup of tea had mellowed me and as I drove home, I admit I was driving nearer 25 mph than 30 through the city, but that was my only crime. So far...
A black Audi was driving right up my backside all the way home. Admittedly I could have sped up, but tailgaiting me was not going to get that kind of response. I continued, singing along to The Charlatans, Can't Get Out Of Bed.
I wanted to pop into the local shops to get my blood pressure checked at the chemist. I found a space, indicated and stopped to reverse park. The Audi-hole beeped me. I lost it. I turned round as I swung in (my windows were open) and shouted an obscenity and if he hadn't quite heard it, I gestured the same meaning with my hands and fingers.
Then I clocked the old lady in the passenger seat! Oops. The old guy had his mum with him! I would never have sworn like that if I'd known his mum was there. Honest.
He shouted at me "I only beeped you to say I couldn't back up."
Here's the response I should have come up with: "I can park a bloody car you know, I don't need your help to park my car. Just because I have two appendages on the front of my body, it doesn't mean I need help!" It really rattled me because, when parallel parking, if you have the length of your car, your don't need any more space to park do you?
What I did shout back in reply was: "You've been driving right up my arse all the way from the shops!" to which he replied "Yes because you were driving so bloody slow." To which my perfect response would have been "And tailgating does not get one to slow down" but I didn't say that, I just shouted that I wasn't driving that slow. I wound up my windows and got out.
Some young lads on the pavement low whistled me as I got out. How embarrassing! I phoned my Mum and she laughed and said that was probably the old lady's highlight of the day. I felt a bit better about it then.
But the REALLY annoying thing was that I had to then have my blood pressure checked. Great, I really need a low reading and what do I do? Go and have a flipping road rage row with someone in the street. Fantastic. Luckily the pharmacist laughed and by the time we had completed the necessary admin, my bp was low enough to please me.