When your pre-teen son is taller than you

I should've known right from the start that he'd be huge. Created by a short- (me) and average-sized (his dad) parents, luckily the boy turns after my dad and not me. During his last three month stay in the womb-hotel, he outgrew his accommodation, forcing a referral to a specialist for his talapese. Thankfully, the specialist confirmed that it was indeed a "packaging problem rather than a manufacturing problem" in that my small stature bunched his feet up, causing him to kick me incessantly in the ribs as well as slightly deforming his feet on entry to the world. However all is well now in that department. But here are some of the issues with having a pre-teen son taller than you:

1. Sorting socks - "Are these yours or dads?" I ask multiple times. I'm sure we bought different socks for you and your dad so we'd work this out, but for the life of me I can't remember. You can do it yourself.

2. Sitting at the table is becoming impossible. No matter where he sits, or where I sit, his feet are where mine want to be.

3. Everyone comments on how big he is. And how big his feet are. It's the adolescent version of peering into the pram and saying, "Look at his little cheeks!"

4. Sport becomes more problematic - just growth in general. Tackles in football become dirtier. ON him, I mean, not FROM him. Never that. Ahem.

5. The relationship changes; hugs where he looks down now bring me closer to the time when he'll be helping me along on my zimmer frame to get my blue rinse done in my assisted living house.

6. It makes me realise just how flipping short I really am. You do realise, don't you, that these new trainers they all wear have LIFTS in them? Have a look at those heels!

7. Actually I think it's OK to be a mum with a taller son, but how about when he overtakes his dad? Will he finally become the alpha male? Time will tell...

--Carron

Would I Lie To You board family game review

Would I Lie To You? "The game of believable lies and unbelievable lies ", linked into the TV show of the same name. Purchased: December 2017 in Waterstones, for around £20 In a nutshell: These TV show-affiliated games usually show themselves up (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Top Gear) but this game is fun and easy to play (if a little modified) as a family. You don't really need specialist knowledge to play, just the ability to lie! Every year for Christmas, I like to buy a board game to play, even though no games better either Ludo (in which my dad is the reigning cheater-champion, and argues to high heaven over the rules about doubling up or how to place your counters in "Home") or Rummikub (which we can now play with two packs of cards lest we forget the game). This year, Would I Lie To You caught my eye in Waterstones (other emporiums - emporia? - for book lovers are [locally] unavailable). It's a game, it says, for 2-8 players; however we dec...

A walk from Portchester Castle to Salt Cafe

Well we just had to choose the worst day of the year to walk. The date had been set weeks before - who knew there would be the worst winds of the decade almost on this very day? But we didn't want to be beaten. We will walk to the cafe. At least it wasn't raining! Parking is free next the castle and obviously, it wasn't busy this day! We set off around the outside of this medieval monument. The sea wall affords views across to Portsmouth and Gosport, and Portsdown Hill if you look behind. You can see the Spinnaker Tower in my photos, but you'd have to zoom in. The sea wall leads to a walk along a path, switching between grass (a much more sheltered area) beside a playpark, and the beach. It is an easy, flat walk, made slightly harder in the wind. After 1.75 miles, you reach the Salt Cafe (@saltcafe66). This took us one hour - that wind did slow us down! I've had a breakfast bap there before and remember it being delicious, but slightly expensive. But today, we...

Ms Humdrum reviews: B Afternoon Tea Bus Tour around London

Family and friends, tasty tea, cute cakes, succulent sarnies, scrumptious scones… what more could you ask for? Some sightseeing around Central London please. Oh, and on a vintage red double decker bus, if you don’t mind. What I’ve described is exactly what you get from the B Afternoon Tea Bus Tour. Priced at around what I paid for the Ritz afternoon tea some five years ago, you rock up at Victoria bus station and check-in to board the bus. The waiting staff guide you on and you find your booth. I manged to get a photo before anyone arrived. The tea is set up for you and is sort of stuck down on the table with a little bit of material! Note the nice touches of the flowers adorning the sides of the bus and the tables with natty bus and shopper images. You settle in and order your first (of many) drinks. I had in my head that I’d be supping loose tea using a strainer out of a bone china cup and saucer. However that just isn’t going to work on a bus, I realise. So you are gi...

A Humdrum Mum

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