Skip to main content

That's not my Elf, he's too rude and noisy

At nursery drop-off this morning, I was handed part of Elf's transfer to school pack, you know, the bit that the pre-school teacher had completed and also that Elf had drawn in (looking worryingly like a blaze that Fireman Sam ought to be putting out instead of rescuing Norman's head from a saucepan with the "jaws of life").

Reading it, I had a sense of "That's not my child" in the way that the above tractor book is written. Surely, the little angel you've so kindly described here doesn't really exist, and certainly doesn't pretend to be my little Elf?

So here is "This is not my child" book, by A Humdrum Mum.

That's not my child
He's too rude and noisy

That's not my child
He's uncaring and unkind (to me sometimes)

That's not my child
He wants to sit in front of the TV not run around in the garden

That's not my child
He won't help me take in the washing

This is my child
He's the one acting like an angel at pre-school and playing up for his mummy

Does your child have a split personality? Are you as surprised as me to hear your devil is in fact an angel?

Labels:

Comments

  1. AnonymousThursday, July 08, 2010

    So when's it going to be published... can't wait for that to hit the shops!

    I think most parents can't relate to this one x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ladybird World MotherThursday, July 08, 2010

    !!! Love this post. But the thing is... I AM the preschool teacher who thinks your child is an angel.. or I certainly do at my preschool. And the thing is, that all our children are just gorgeous in the setting and as soon as their mothers come, they turn into the Devil himself. ??!! BTW love the book idea. I'll buy it. xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Julie SardinetinFriday, July 09, 2010

    Oh yes... appear to have two of those! I can only assume it is down to the fact that the effort of all that angelic behaviour is just too much by the time they get home... Sigh...

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's a Mummys LifeFriday, July 09, 2010

    Oh my god, you have just described my toddler! I love this analogy, so clever. Also we are fairly obsessive fireman sam devotees in our house (I strangely love it too, how weird is that?) that any mention of him in a post is a must read. My toddler did her settling in morning at pre-school last week and she was an absolute angel whilst I wasn't there - I know this because I snuck in so she wouldn't see me and there she was quietly handing round the snacks. Sees me and hey presto it's psycho kid!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cass@TheDiaryofaFrugalFamilySaturday, July 10, 2010

    I love this - It's so funny ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cass@TheDiaryofaFrugalFamilySunday, July 11, 2010

    BTW I just tagged you over at mine ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Metropolitan MumSunday, July 11, 2010

    So far, little L turns out to be very shy and quiet at nursery. She is speaking at home A LOT and she only manages to say bye bye when we leave.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Humdrum MumSunday, July 11, 2010

    Anon - hope you mean that parents CAN relate to it or is it just us?!

    Ladybird - I did the same too, according to my dad.

    JulieB - it's a good job it's that way round really, I always think.

    Mummy's life - handing round the snacks, bless. Got 'em working already.

    Magic - thanks will look...

    MetroMum - hmm you have the opposite there's time for change tho!

    All- I will let you know when the book comes out. If I'm not done for plagiarism (spelling?) first. -HMx

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hot Cross MumTuesday, July 13, 2010

    Love this - so very true. What is it about walking in your own front door that reduces the little angel to a demonic terror? You should start a series of these!

    ReplyDelete
  10. scribblingmumSaturday, July 17, 2010

    Like everyone else, this is my daughter - lovely and well behaved child for everyone and then a total nut bar for me. My Mum tells me to take it as a compliment as it means she loves me most and trusts me so much that she knows I'll take it from her and still love her.

    Poops to that, I just want her to be nice to me too....

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Talk to me...

Popular posts from this blog

Ms Humdrum reviews: The Taken escape room from Escape London

YES we found Bob! Escape rooms seem to be the new thing. You pay to be locked into a room, with your goal being to escape! But it’s a little more than that. Teamwork aids the solving of puzzles and challenges, with clues around you, be it icons or codes. There is not always just one room; often a second room is there for the finding. Based around a theme, this immersive style of game has really taken off, with even my mum completing one! I was imagining a quiz based on general or specific knowledge, but no, it’s not necessary to have any prior information. Anyone can take part. Last week, on a family day out, I “Escaped” with my mum, cousin and her daughter. The rules were explained to us before we entered and we were told that while there was a camera, there was no audio. If we required help (yes you can ask for help!), we needed to dance in front of the camera and help would come via the TV screen in the room. Our theme was “Taken” - our good friend Bob had gone missing and we we...
1 comment
Read more

Would I Lie To You board family game review

Would I Lie To You? "The game of believable lies and unbelievable lies ", linked into the TV show of the same name. Purchased:  December 2017 in Waterstones, for around £20 In a nutshell: These TV show-affiliated games usually show themselves up (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Top Gear) but this game is fun and easy to play (if a little modified) as a family. You don't really need specialist knowledge to play, just the ability to lie! Every year for Christmas, I like to buy a board game to play, even though no games better either Ludo (in which my dad is the reigning cheater-champion, and argues to high heaven over the rules about doubling up or how to place your counters in "Home") or Rummikub (which we can now play with two packs of cards lest we forget the game). This year, Would I Lie To You caught my eye in Waterstones (other emporiums - emporia? - for book lovers are [locally] unavailable). It's a game, it says, for 2-8 players; however we dec...
5 comments
Read more

He's back and I didn't miss him - shock!

His shoes lay strewn near the front door. ACDC riffs belt out from the amp in the front room. My head throbs. Peace reigned for five days. Five long, lazy days. Now that peace is shattered. The boy is back. But - prepare yourself for the shock - I didn't miss him! The school parents' Facebook chat page buzzed while they were away at their Year 5 residential. I started a thread asking if any other parents had received their postcard. We were asked to pack a stamped addressed card. I had but some other parents didn't, making them feel totally rejected! One mum forgot and felt awful. It was on this thread that it appeared I was the only parent who didn't miss their little bundle of joy! Other mums described tears at bedtime the night before. Tears when they were pulling away on the coach. And this was boys, actually, not girls. I jokingly said I was certainly going to win the Worst Parent Award for this half-term. One mum replied that I'd raised an independent boy ra...
Post a Comment
Read more