Yes you read my title correctly. My tooth falling out today was The Last Straw. I have been on a one way street to stress this summer, I thought I was coping quite well but obviously I'm not! As I bit into the salami and mozzarella panini in Nerd, sorry Nero today and felt my tooth fasica crack off, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I laughed. It was close though.
As you will note in No 6 below, I am fed up with work and so have decided to open a new special chain of hotels. It is called the Stress Hotel, and is a halfway house between your house and where you'd go if you really couldn't cope. You can check out any time you like, or is that from the Hotel California? Anyway, this hotel chain has a no children policy so you will be guaranteed a rest. It will be a no partner zone, so you can stop arguing. You will have a life coach there, you don't really need therapy just someone paid to listen to your moaning and tell you that you Can Achieve Anything If You Put Your Mind To It. Positive mental attitude and all. The food comes straight from M&S, you can hire a "mum" to come round and clean and tidy up for you. There is no gravity so there won't be anything on the floor that you have to pick up, and that your partner has avoided picking up for the last three days. Do I need to go on, or can I take your booking please?
Can I just take a second to bullet point the stress points along this irritatingly windy, stony, one way street to The Last Straw? It will make me feel better if I do.
1. My Dad's heart op - after which (and thanks for all the nice comments) he is making a good but slow recovery. No sarky comment about this, it is my Dad of course.
2. The house move - we have still not exchanged and our third successive person at the estate agents have asked us some dumb arse question because they haven't remembered what they told me last week. Grrr.
3. My hormonal state - dads look away (I have fibroids and although my acupuncture is working very well, I do suffer two days a month).
4. Mr Humdrum working all hours - actually at work, then working from home, which is only punctuated by shouts of "I should have bought a f*&(%ing Mac Book" at the point the laptop is doing yet another Windows Update, and 5am book reading sessions because he can't sleep.
5. Elf's school looming - I know this isn't that bad, but it's still on the radar as "teeny bit stressful".
6. New management and dept restructure at work - I am about to be demoted from Data Manager to Marketing Executive, two rungs down from Marketing Manager which is what I was pre-Elf. A fellow part timer said "Are you suffering from Part Time Mum?" She understood. The first thing New Management said to me was "Can you print this out for me". I forgot, I have breasts.
7. My tooth breaking - I'm sure it's the tooth that is technically dead (root canal treatment) as otherwise I'm sure I'd be screaming by now. I have to phone tomorrow for an emergency appointment and have been asked by new management (see No 6 above) to schedule it for after our departmental meeting tomorrow, if not could I work Friday instead of Thursday this week.
I want to cry and book into my Stress Hotel!