Skip to main content

The great fish tank in the sky

Recently in my mummy group, all the kids have been asking about death. I have to admit that with my Elf, it's more a case of Mum, why does Darth Vader die? than What happened to your nana and grandad? I heard two funny stories this week from my group and just had to blog them for your amusement.

The great fish tank in the sky
Elf's best friend, Woody, had a fish tank for Christmas. Woody's mum said he hadn't noticed that three fish had already died in the last few weeks, but when the fourth one had the misfortune to go belly-up, she thought she'd approach the subject with Woody. In the meantime, Woody's dad had, he thought discretely, flushed it down the loo.

She tried to console him by explaining that his fishie had been poorly. Woody was in floods of tears at this point, being a sensitive soul. Wondering why she'd gone down the route of trying to explain death to Woody, his mum said yes his little fishie did die, but he was going to the Great Fish Tank in the Sky and that he would be happier there.

Woody repeats, So he's gone to the great fish tank in the sky? Yes, says his mum.

No,his little sister pipes up. He's gone down the toilet!

Daffodils
Elf's friend T, a 4 and a half year old girl, wanted to buy two bunches of daffs in the supermarket, one for them and one for her nanny and grandad.

No we can't, says her mum. Nanny and grandad aren't coming down for a few weeks, and they'll be dead by then.

Nanny and grandad are dead? wails T.

Classic.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Would I Lie To You board family game review

Would I Lie To You? "The game of believable lies and unbelievable lies ", linked into the TV show of the same name. Purchased:  December 2017 in Waterstones, for around £20 In a nutshell: These TV show-affiliated games usually show themselves up (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Top Gear) but this game is fun and easy to play (if a little modified) as a family. You don't really need specialist knowledge to play, just the ability to lie! Every year for Christmas, I like to buy a board game to play, even though no games better either Ludo (in which my dad is the reigning cheater-champion, and argues to high heaven over the rules about doubling up or how to place your counters in "Home") or Rummikub (which we can now play with two packs of cards lest we forget the game). This year, Would I Lie To You caught my eye in Waterstones (other emporiums - emporia? - for book lovers are [locally] unavailable). It's a game, it says, for 2-8 players; however we dec...

A walk from Portchester Castle to Salt Cafe

Well we just had to choose the worst day of the year to walk. The date had been set weeks before - who knew there would be the worst winds of the decade almost on this very day? But we didn't want to be beaten. We will walk to the cafe. At least it wasn't raining! Parking is free next the castle and obviously, it wasn't busy this day! We set off around the outside of this medieval monument. The sea wall affords views across to Portsmouth and Gosport, and Portsdown Hill if you look behind. You can see the Spinnaker Tower in my photos, but you'd have to zoom in. The sea wall leads to a walk along a path, switching between grass (a much more sheltered area) beside a playpark, and the beach. It is an easy, flat walk, made slightly harder in the wind. After 1.75 miles, you reach the Salt Cafe (@saltcafe66). This took us one hour - that wind did slow us down! I've had a breakfast bap there before and remember it being delicious, but slightly expensive. But today, we...

Ms Humdrum reviews: B Afternoon Tea Bus Tour around London

Family and friends, tasty tea, cute cakes, succulent sarnies, scrumptious scones… what more could you ask for? Some sightseeing around Central London please. Oh, and on a vintage red double decker bus, if you don’t mind. What I’ve described is exactly what you get from the B Afternoon Tea Bus Tour. Priced at around what I paid for the Ritz afternoon tea some five years ago, you rock up at Victoria bus station and check-in to board the bus. The waiting staff guide you on and you find your booth. I manged to get a photo before anyone arrived.  The tea is set up for you and is sort of stuck down on the table with a little bit of material! Note the nice touches of the flowers adorning the sides of the bus and the tables with natty bus and shopper images. You settle in and order your first (of many) drinks. I had in my head that I’d be supping loose tea using a strainer out of a bone china cup and saucer. However that just isn’t going to work on a bus, I realise. So you are gi...