Skip to main content

The great fish tank in the sky

Recently in my mummy group, all the kids have been asking about death. I have to admit that with my Elf, it's more a case of Mum, why does Darth Vader die? than What happened to your nana and grandad? I heard two funny stories this week from my group and just had to blog them for your amusement.

The great fish tank in the sky
Elf's best friend, Woody, had a fish tank for Christmas. Woody's mum said he hadn't noticed that three fish had already died in the last few weeks, but when the fourth one had the misfortune to go belly-up, she thought she'd approach the subject with Woody. In the meantime, Woody's dad had, he thought discretely, flushed it down the loo.

She tried to console him by explaining that his fishie had been poorly. Woody was in floods of tears at this point, being a sensitive soul. Wondering why she'd gone down the route of trying to explain death to Woody, his mum said yes his little fishie did die, but he was going to the Great Fish Tank in the Sky and that he would be happier there.

Woody repeats, So he's gone to the great fish tank in the sky? Yes, says his mum.

No,his little sister pipes up. He's gone down the toilet!

Elf's friend T, a 4 and a half year old girl, wanted to buy two bunches of daffs in the supermarket, one for them and one for her nanny and grandad.

No we can't, says her mum. Nanny and grandad aren't coming down for a few weeks, and they'll be dead by then.

Nanny and grandad are dead? wails T.



Popular posts from this blog

Ms Humdrum recommends ... beaches around Padstow, Cornwall

(1) Lighthouse walk around Trevose Head to Booby's Bay
We walked around Trevose Head from our campsite in Mother Ivey's Bay, but of course you can access it from the coastal path. Passing over the lifeboat station, this afford you a view back over Harlyn and Trevone beaches, Stepper Point at the lower mouth point of the Camel Estuary and even as far as Polzeath and Pentire Point and the Rumps on the other side of the estuary. Once you have passed the lighthouse and the blow hole, the view is south to Booby's Bay and Constantine beach. Last year, we walked this route starting off drenched with rain and ending up in full sun, with a pasty pitstop by the lighthouse on the way. Watching the waves crash into Booby's over the rocks kept us occupied for quite some time.

(2) Padstow walk
Padstow, or Padstein as it's sometimes unfavourably known, is seen as a touristy town with the harbour as the main attraction. And it is and attraction. But there is much more to the area. A …

Would I Lie To You board family game review

Would I Lie To You? "The game of believable lies and unbelievable lies", linked into the TV show of the same name.

Purchased: December 2017 in Waterstones, for around £20

In a nutshell: These TV show-affiliated games usually show themselves up (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Top Gear) but this game is fun and easy to play (if a little modified) as a family. You don't really need specialist knowledge to play, just the ability to lie!

Every year for Christmas, I like to buy a board game to play, even though no games better either Ludo(in which my dad is the reigning cheater-champion, and argues to high heaven over the rules about doubling up or how to place your counters in "Home") or Rummikub (which we can now play with two packs of cards lest we forget the game). This year, Would I Lie To You caught my eye in Waterstones (other emporiums - emporia? - for book lovers are [locally] unavailable).

It's a game, it says, for 2-8 players; however we decided it wouldn't…

My month - January 2019

This is New Year's Eve at our house. Every year, we host a disco for our little group of five families. Each year, we enjoy a little drink. Each year, we drink yummy espresso martinis. Each year, we dance and dance and dance. This year was no exception. This year, we chose rather cheesy music (think Copa Cabana) and danced and sang so much that my legs ached for days. 

This is my new mantra. I'm fed up of counting down the days to the weekend, or weeks to half-term. And it also links in with Bohemian Rhapsody, answering Freddie's first line question.

Sadly, my newly restored motivation for getting outside to do more exercise took a hit in the form of plantar fasciitis. For the lucky ones who don't know what it is, it is a bloody annoying pain in your arches and on your heel. I have had to wear my old moulded (not mouldy) insoles to help. I am obsessed with Skechers so I bought these comfy boots, only to find that memory foam isn't great for my foot thing, so in went …