Skip to main content

The great fish tank in the sky

Recently in my mummy group, all the kids have been asking about death. I have to admit that with my Elf, it's more a case of Mum, why does Darth Vader die? than What happened to your nana and grandad? I heard two funny stories this week from my group and just had to blog them for your amusement.

The great fish tank in the sky
Elf's best friend, Woody, had a fish tank for Christmas. Woody's mum said he hadn't noticed that three fish had already died in the last few weeks, but when the fourth one had the misfortune to go belly-up, she thought she'd approach the subject with Woody. In the meantime, Woody's dad had, he thought discretely, flushed it down the loo.

She tried to console him by explaining that his fishie had been poorly. Woody was in floods of tears at this point, being a sensitive soul. Wondering why she'd gone down the route of trying to explain death to Woody, his mum said yes his little fishie did die, but he was going to the Great Fish Tank in the Sky and that he would be happier there.

Woody repeats, So he's gone to the great fish tank in the sky? Yes, says his mum.

No,his little sister pipes up. He's gone down the toilet!

Daffodils
Elf's friend T, a 4 and a half year old girl, wanted to buy two bunches of daffs in the supermarket, one for them and one for her nanny and grandad.

No we can't, says her mum. Nanny and grandad aren't coming down for a few weeks, and they'll be dead by then.

Nanny and grandad are dead? wails T.

Classic.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

He's back and I didn't miss him - shock!

His shoes lay strewn near the front door. ACDC riffs belt out from the amp in the front room. My head throbs. Peace reigned for five days. Five long, lazy days. Now that peace is shattered. The boy is back. But - prepare yourself for the shock - I didn't miss him! The school parents' Facebook chat page buzzed while they were away at their Year 5 residential. I started a thread asking if any other parents had received their postcard. We were asked to pack a stamped addressed card. I had but some other parents didn't, making them feel totally rejected! One mum forgot and felt awful. It was on this thread that it appeared I was the only parent who didn't miss their little bundle of joy! Other mums described tears at bedtime the night before. Tears when they were pulling away on the coach. And this was boys, actually, not girls. I jokingly said I was certainly going to win the Worst Parent Award for this half-term. One mum replied that I'd raised an independent boy ra...

Ms Humdrum reviews: The Taken escape room from Escape London

YES we found Bob! Escape rooms seem to be the new thing. You pay to be locked into a room, with your goal being to escape! But it’s a little more than that. Teamwork aids the solving of puzzles and challenges, with clues around you, be it icons or codes. There is not always just one room; often a second room is there for the finding. Based around a theme, this immersive style of game has really taken off, with even my mum completing one! I was imagining a quiz based on general or specific knowledge, but no, it’s not necessary to have any prior information. Anyone can take part. Last week, on a family day out, I “Escaped” with my mum, cousin and her daughter. The rules were explained to us before we entered and we were told that while there was a camera, there was no audio. If we required help (yes you can ask for help!), we needed to dance in front of the camera and help would come via the TV screen in the room. Our theme was “Taken” - our good friend Bob had gone missing and we we...

Would I Lie To You board family game review

Would I Lie To You? "The game of believable lies and unbelievable lies ", linked into the TV show of the same name. Purchased:  December 2017 in Waterstones, for around £20 In a nutshell: These TV show-affiliated games usually show themselves up (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Top Gear) but this game is fun and easy to play (if a little modified) as a family. You don't really need specialist knowledge to play, just the ability to lie! Every year for Christmas, I like to buy a board game to play, even though no games better either Ludo (in which my dad is the reigning cheater-champion, and argues to high heaven over the rules about doubling up or how to place your counters in "Home") or Rummikub (which we can now play with two packs of cards lest we forget the game). This year, Would I Lie To You caught my eye in Waterstones (other emporiums - emporia? - for book lovers are [locally] unavailable). It's a game, it says, for 2-8 players; however we dec...