Recently I heard of a child who was given a Worry Box. He was to write little notes, his worries, and place them into the box. I'm sure we can all work out why - we put the box away, and the we can then get a good night's sleep.
On and off, I've been waking up in the night, unable to get back to sleep, and have started having what I call "Busy head". I can't get thoughts out of my head, thoughts that would not worry me much in daylight, but at 4am, they do.
For a variety of reasons, I went to the doctor last week and I think amongst other things, I might be anaemic. A fasting blood test last Friday will show those results soon. I complained to the doc that I'd lost my "vim and vigour" since Easter. (There are other reasons for my possible anaemia - I am 42 and think things are 'changing' - but I'm not discussing that here!)
For most of the time since Easter, it's been a mammoth effort to get anything done around the house. I've taken on some extra teaching duties, which have been great even if I was a bit anxious at first. I enjoy being challenged. I haven't been out running (read shuffling) since then; after a cold I stopped and never got back on it. Some may call me a sluttern, I'm not that bad, but I am not known to be much of a housewife! But even by my standards, it's been a real effort to clear up the kitchen and empty the dishwasher.
What has also been worrying me is not posting three cards. Yes, I know it sounds weird, but at 4am it's my big problem. I have in my kitchen launch pad three unposted cards: one for a friend who was 50 in April; one for a new mum and the baby is now about three months old; and one for a mum-to-be/newly engaged person who now has a big bump and has organised her wedding already. Why haven't I posted them? I don't know why! I can't explain. Why do I keep forgetting?
A phone call to my best friend Sarah was in order, I knew she would be able to sort it out. I admitted the unposted cards worry. I admitted that I thought that these three friends, only two of whom are known to each other, would meet up and give me three big crosses in a list that I imagine exists of All The Things I Should Do. The fact that one is pregnant, planning her wedding and one is a new mum escapes me, why would they have the time or energy to even contemplate this?
Of Sarah, I asked What do these unposted cards represent? She asked of me What would you worry about if you didn't worry about them? I didn't know.
Luckily, the right answer is never far away with your best friend. I've got it, she said. Send the bloody cards to me! We roared with laughter, I knew she'd sort it out.
Much of my emotional bandwidth focus (my new phrase) has, since March, been taken up by the 5:2 diet. Yes it has worked; I've lost a stone so far but am on a mini break for half-term. I have trouble around food in any case - but not how you think! I always feel I need to cook better meals for us and for my seven year old son. It's the subject of one of my guilt-fests. So I have been using up a lot of energy in focusing on us doing 5:2 (yes Mr Humdrum is doing it too - quite well I may so) and then eating healthily for the remainder of the week. Maybe I haven't got enough bandwidth to focus on other things? I certainly don't think that 5:2 is bad for me, and I don't think that it is related at all to my loss of vim and vigour. In fact, the opposite. I have felt worse the last couple of weeks and haven't even had the energy to do 5:2.
Last Friday, the last day before half-term, I came home from school and felt like a switch had been flicked on. I suddenly started sorting out some of the mess in the kitchen (my launch pad area where I keep "stuff"). I think I even cooked a meal and tidied the kitchen.
Sarah has some experience of anaemia and she said it can make you feel down and slightly paranoid. I think that might answer some of my issues then!
To sum up, I think I am feeling better for two reasons - the doctor is taking me seriously instead of fobbing me off with "Come back in six months" and also it's half-term, and I needed a rest. In any case, I've managed to park my health issues with the doctor, like putting a note in his worry box. That's good enough for now. Regarding the unposted cards, I think they represent me not being able to achieve as much as I used to. What to do? I've parked it in Sarah's worry box, but I might also try to accept that I'm not as good, or indeed timely, at sending cards to people as I used to be. I shouldn't feel guilty. And if these people are friends, they are hardly going to be giving me crosses on that long list! A posted card does not a good friend make!
This Saturday Mr Humdrum and I are having a joint 42nd birthday party at our house. Compared to our 40th party, this one will be a little quieter and more sedate. Well what I mean is the numbers are lower, I bet we will still be as noisy! As well as my lovely local mates, some of my uni group are coming too - two of whom I haven't seen for possibly seven years! I know I will be buzzing off this for weeks to come. Roll on Saturday!
On and off, I've been waking up in the night, unable to get back to sleep, and have started having what I call "Busy head". I can't get thoughts out of my head, thoughts that would not worry me much in daylight, but at 4am, they do.
For a variety of reasons, I went to the doctor last week and I think amongst other things, I might be anaemic. A fasting blood test last Friday will show those results soon. I complained to the doc that I'd lost my "vim and vigour" since Easter. (There are other reasons for my possible anaemia - I am 42 and think things are 'changing' - but I'm not discussing that here!)
For most of the time since Easter, it's been a mammoth effort to get anything done around the house. I've taken on some extra teaching duties, which have been great even if I was a bit anxious at first. I enjoy being challenged. I haven't been out running (read shuffling) since then; after a cold I stopped and never got back on it. Some may call me a sluttern, I'm not that bad, but I am not known to be much of a housewife! But even by my standards, it's been a real effort to clear up the kitchen and empty the dishwasher.
What has also been worrying me is not posting three cards. Yes, I know it sounds weird, but at 4am it's my big problem. I have in my kitchen launch pad three unposted cards: one for a friend who was 50 in April; one for a new mum and the baby is now about three months old; and one for a mum-to-be/newly engaged person who now has a big bump and has organised her wedding already. Why haven't I posted them? I don't know why! I can't explain. Why do I keep forgetting?
A phone call to my best friend Sarah was in order, I knew she would be able to sort it out. I admitted the unposted cards worry. I admitted that I thought that these three friends, only two of whom are known to each other, would meet up and give me three big crosses in a list that I imagine exists of All The Things I Should Do. The fact that one is pregnant, planning her wedding and one is a new mum escapes me, why would they have the time or energy to even contemplate this?
Of Sarah, I asked What do these unposted cards represent? She asked of me What would you worry about if you didn't worry about them? I didn't know.
Luckily, the right answer is never far away with your best friend. I've got it, she said. Send the bloody cards to me! We roared with laughter, I knew she'd sort it out.
Much of my emotional bandwidth focus (my new phrase) has, since March, been taken up by the 5:2 diet. Yes it has worked; I've lost a stone so far but am on a mini break for half-term. I have trouble around food in any case - but not how you think! I always feel I need to cook better meals for us and for my seven year old son. It's the subject of one of my guilt-fests. So I have been using up a lot of energy in focusing on us doing 5:2 (yes Mr Humdrum is doing it too - quite well I may so) and then eating healthily for the remainder of the week. Maybe I haven't got enough bandwidth to focus on other things? I certainly don't think that 5:2 is bad for me, and I don't think that it is related at all to my loss of vim and vigour. In fact, the opposite. I have felt worse the last couple of weeks and haven't even had the energy to do 5:2.
Last Friday, the last day before half-term, I came home from school and felt like a switch had been flicked on. I suddenly started sorting out some of the mess in the kitchen (my launch pad area where I keep "stuff"). I think I even cooked a meal and tidied the kitchen.
Sarah has some experience of anaemia and she said it can make you feel down and slightly paranoid. I think that might answer some of my issues then!
To sum up, I think I am feeling better for two reasons - the doctor is taking me seriously instead of fobbing me off with "Come back in six months" and also it's half-term, and I needed a rest. In any case, I've managed to park my health issues with the doctor, like putting a note in his worry box. That's good enough for now. Regarding the unposted cards, I think they represent me not being able to achieve as much as I used to. What to do? I've parked it in Sarah's worry box, but I might also try to accept that I'm not as good, or indeed timely, at sending cards to people as I used to be. I shouldn't feel guilty. And if these people are friends, they are hardly going to be giving me crosses on that long list! A posted card does not a good friend make!
This Saturday Mr Humdrum and I are having a joint 42nd birthday party at our house. Compared to our 40th party, this one will be a little quieter and more sedate. Well what I mean is the numbers are lower, I bet we will still be as noisy! As well as my lovely local mates, some of my uni group are coming too - two of whom I haven't seen for possibly seven years! I know I will be buzzing off this for weeks to come. Roll on Saturday!